Monday, September 10, 2007

Saturday's Column

I just have to share with you our column that was published on Saturday in the Seattle PI. Christian and I wrote a number of definitions we call Designer Speak - it was so much fun to write, and I think a bit closer to the truth than anyone cares to admit...

The Design Files: Love it (or hate it), a primer to Designerspeak
by Robin Daly and Christian Ursino


It's time to learn a new language. Here's a basic primer in Designerspeak:
"There's been a delay in your order." (There's a war in the country where they are weaving the cloth for your sofa.)
"Let's do custom." (There's going to be a lot of time and money spent reinventing the wheel.)
"Let's break the rules." (I have a chair that's been sitting in my warehouse for five years and I want to get rid of it.)
"Oh, it flows!" (Uh-oh!)
"Let me put some ideas together, and I'll get back to you." (Don't sit by the phone. I have no idea what to do with this space and I need to go away.)
"Didn't you get my message?" (Oops, I forgot to call.)
"I'm waiting to hear back from the showroom." (I haven't done it yet.)
"It's a European fabric." (Break out the big bucks!)
"Fine craftsmanship." (Don't put that wallet away yet.)
"One of a kind." (You'll never get your money back out of it.)
"This will be fun!" (You're going to hate this.)
"I love it!" (I hate it.)
"Of course we don't have to replace the sofa." (Hmmmm. Wouldn't it be a shame if something were to happen to it?)
"I'll see if I can find it." (It hasn't been made since 1964.)
"It's just a difference in the dye lot." (It's the wrong fabric.)
"It's in stock." (You're still a month away from it.)
"It's back-ordered." (Oops, I sat on your order for three weeks.)
"They said 8 to 10 weeks." (Expect 12 to 16.)
"It's timeless." (It's boring.)
"It's hip." (It's overpriced.)
"It'll never go out of style." (It never was in style.)
"I'll meet you at the coffee shop." (I don't have an office.)
"Respect the process." (Just do what I say.)
"Evolve." (Wing it.)
"Trust me." (I'll be sweating bullets until it's actually done.)
"It looks fabulous; I knew it would." (I'm as surprised as you are.)
"You are my best client." (You're the one who pays on time.)
"You are my favorite client." (You're my only client.)